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The Bond Girl

The Bond Girl

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Comedic Monologue originally from 20/20 Action
Originally performed by Sara Jackson

Comedic / Female 

The speaker is thrilled at their first day as the first female secret agent, but finds the gadgets  less desirable.


I’m thrilled. I’ve trained long and hard for this and I don’t need to walk you through my
credentials. I promise to do MI6 proud. Now, what do you have for me?

This? It’s a pen. But what is it really? Oh come on, you don’t have to tease me. We both
know this isn’t just a pen. Okay, so I just need to click this and — no. Let me. I know how
to click a pen. It’s not going to explode right? Okay, just checking. Okay! Here goes! And...

Is that a tampon? Okay, sure. What does the tampon do? Do I need to click it or — what
do you mean it’s just a tampon? Why do I need a tampon hidden in a pen? I can just use
— you know what? Thank you. It’s fine. It’s not my first choice for a spy gadget but you
know what, sometimes you just need an extra. So thanks. For being so very considerate
of my female biology. And making it so incredibly apparent

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