Home For The Holidays

Comedic Monologue originally from 20/20 Vision
Originally performed by AJ Paluzzi

Comedic / Male

The speaker is explaining to his current partner about the intricacies of meeting his parents for the first time during the holiday season. 

PREVIEW

I love my family. They’re great. They are. I only get to see them once a year, but it’s a precious
time. A sacred time. But sometimes you just want to take them and shove their stupid faces
in the turkey.

I mean we all have so much in common, like the shape of our nose, or the thick luscious locks
— but how can their viewpoints be so contrary to ours? I mean the world is burning and my
dad still refuses to acknowledge that climate is different than weather while commenting on
how nice it is to have a green Christmas. And then at some point when the eggnog runs out,
he’ll lose his volume control and start shouting at nothing. Last year, he lost his temper when
the turkey came out dry. But he made the turkey and didn’t let any of us help him. At least if
he’d accepted help, he’d have someone to blame when the turkey came out drier than the
Sahara.