Bloody Manor

Comedic Monologue originally from 20/20 Questions
Originally performed by Elizabeth Rose Morriss 

Comedic / Female

The speaker instructs some new haunted house employees that their obligation is to kill, not to entertain the humans

PREVIEW

The most important thing to remember is not to be afraid of blood. Blood is your friend. It’s
nutritious, delicious, and it always advises you to see the best side of life. Mine always tells me to B Positive. So try not to see it as A Negative. Now, no more joking. It upsets the house.

Most of the customers who come in here will actually think that this is just another haunted house attraction, so we work very hard to maintain this illusion. It is imperative that no one knows that they’re being hunted because this makes them stressed and scared, which tends to make their flesh stringy and unappealing. However, if they think that their fear is unwarranted, they’ll happily go along and wander into the slaughter rooms themselves which leads to plump succulent meat.