A Business Of Ferrets

Comedic Monologue originally from 20/20 Action
Originally performed by Nicole D'Amato

Comedic / Female 

The speaker chastises their lover after they attempt to smuggle ferrets across the border in an unexpected way

PREVIEW

Okay. So...please explain to me how the ferret ended up in your pants. Sorry. Ferrets. I was only aware of there being one. No, I don’t think more is better, Jeremy. Because I’m not sure how you came to the conclusion that taping ferrets to your body was a good idea in the first place.

First off, what did you think would happen when you tried to smuggle a wild animal underneath your clothes? And of all animals, why did you feel like a ferret was the appropriate animal to smuggle across the border? Sorry — ferrets. They smell bad Jeremy. They always have. And when you duct tape these creatures to your body, did you not expect them to struggle?