The Glamorous Lie

Comedic Monologue originally from 20/20 Vision
Originally performed by Julie Cohn

Comedic / Female

The speaker recounts their brush with fame when things go sideways. 

PREVIEW

I just wanted to be glamorous, you know. It seemed like such a good idea. It actually
seemed like all the pieces were falling into place. I was so happy to wear a dress by a
brand name label, get my hair done by the best of the best, and have my face beat for
the gods. I was so excited. I’d made it. I mean, I was a seat-filler, but still. I had to look
like I belonged. So they sent me to all the right places. But they made all the wrong
choices.

First off, the dress was a poofy pink nightmare. I looked like a loofa. It bulged and burst
off of me in a million different directions. It felt like I was wearing a magenta cloud made
of sandpaper and despair. I looked awful. But then came the hairstyle. I had wanted
something long and full bodied. I wanted to look like Beyonce — but instead I got the
Michelle treatment. Or worse: LaTavia...