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The Couch

The Couch

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Comedic Monologue originally from 20/20 Hindsight
Originally performed by Sarah McCarthy
Written By Matti McLean

Comedic / Female - Non Binary / Mental Health

Hell hath no fury like a wife scorned in a furniture store. 


It’s not just a chair, Jeremy. It’s a couch. It’s going to be the fulcrum of our entire living space. I don’t understand how you can be so cavalier about this. This is important so I need you to pay attention, and I need you to care, and I need you to make the right choice.

Okay, I appreciate your gumption. But do we have anything else in the living room that is mauve? No. That’s right Jeremy. We don’t. So why would we go out of our way, to get a mauve couch? Does that make sense? No. That’s right. Good. Now try again.

Vinyl? Do you really like the idea of having a vinyl couch? Jeremy, our house gets hot, and when our house gets hot vinyl lets off a smell like vintage Buick farts. Does that sound appealing? Go ahead and try again.

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